Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ticking Down

The clock seems to be ticking down on everything as of late. Less than two months left in this school year, just over two months until Malia and I are married, just over two months until our honeymoon which I am beyond excited about. Lots of widgets are in a clockwork motion and winding down to zero hour for a lot of big stuff.

I am superduper excited about Malia and I's honeymoon. Since there is a chance she will read this post before we set off, I can't say much about the trip other than it will be epic. I think I mentioned earlier that the honeymoon will be a total surprise for Malia and I have been planning it for almost six months now. But Tyson, you and Malia haven't even been engaged that long! Very true, I have been planning this honeymoon since Malia and I started dating again. I knew that once we started dating for the second time, we would get married so I have had ideas percolating for quite some time. I hate keeping secrets, especially good ones but I think this one will be worth it. I call it the Honeymoon of Infinite Mystery for a good reason. It should be entertaining. Man, I want to say more....but I can't.

With school winding down, I am finding it exceedingly hard to concentrate. I am just like the kids I teach in this sense. After Spring Break, I have to give it my all to not be useless for three months. I am excited for the end of school for a number of reasons. First, I have two kids graduating this year and I am excited for that. Second, I am photographing the prom and graduation ceremony for the school. Third, I get to teach summer school this year! I am teaching Government and Economics to a student this summer and am very happy to teach something other than Special Ed. It will be a good breather for me.

Malia is pretty much moved into my apartment now. The move and the wedding are stressing her out. She is currently sleeping at her brother's place but she stays over at my house until bedtime usually. I think living in two places has been hard on her and it is starting to stress her out. I have been trying to keep the place clean so that she doesn't get stressed about that. I love her sooooo much and I hate to see her bothered but there isn't much to be done about that.

I think the wedding planning is moving along. I am not in charge of much in that area so I am not totally sure how everything is going on that front. I think it is going well. I hear snippets and see mock-ups of things. It all looks nice. Wedding stuff also stresses Malia out and I am going to try to help out more in that area. I just want it to be done and to be married to her. It will be nice to have her around all the time.

In other news, I have been really stressed lately. It sucks because it isn't a compartmentalized stress about one particular thing, it is a ton of stuff that bugs me. I hate being a worry wort but I am. I worry about work, going back to school, my health because of my worrying, the wedding, THE HONEYMOON A LOT, money stuff, marriage stuff, friends stuff, etc. I know it is dumb to worry about some of it, especially the marriage stuff. I have a better feeling about Malia and I than I did about Becca and I. I am not sure why that is but it just feels...better. I feel more like a grown up this time around.

Speaking on the theme of time that I started this entry with. I am feeling 31 years old now. This bothers me. I have never really felt my age, I have always felt 25, even after I was older than 25. Not anymore. I think I have been very stressed for a while now and I think that is aging me. This school year has been a learning experience. It has been a great year but it has been stressful. That is very true for the last couple of months. I never feel like I am unwinding, I always feel like I have stuff I need to do (and I usually do), and I can't leave work stuff at work anymore. Work is definitely bleeding into my personal life, like right now, it is almost 7pm and I am sitting in my office. I love my job but lately, its been getting nuts. Two more months.

Speaking of my job, I know I will have a job next year but I can't stop but worrying about how many years I can count on that. Sometimes, working for a charter school feels like being a cog in a time bomb. My job rocks but I question the longevity of it sometimes. This is bothersome because with marriage, kids will come. I just want to be sure I can always provide for Malia and our kids. It would kill me if I couldn't. I hate feeling like a grown up.

Anywho, I need to get going. Malia will be at my place soon and I won't be. Besides, I think I have more than put in my time at the office for the day.

Tick tock tick tock tick tock.