On The Eve Of Something
I am feeling so very odd right now.
Tomorrow, I will find out whether or not I have that History position at the new high school. I am very anxious for the news, in a good way. I have never been in a position where I like my current job enough not to be too heartbroken if I don't get this next job. I feel somewhat torn.
On one side of things, if I get this job lots of stuff happens. I get a significant amount more money a month coming in. I work a lot more hours. I still like my job. I will basically be living my dream. At the same time, it will be a lot of responsibility and that is something I have grown rather accustomed to not having. Right now, I have a handful of people to look after. If I get this job I will have over a hundred. This is my career I would be starting for real.
If I don't get this job, life kind of continues like normal. I like the job I have now. I live comfortably. It is laid back.
I know I crave more than I am doing now and I think getting this teaching job would be challenging and fun and rewarding. Ok, I really hope I get this teaching job. So on the eve of my big news one way or the other, I am hoping for something new. I want this job...bad. It means a start to the next level of my life and I am ready for that. The other day my dad told me he thought I had paid my dues for long enough and that I deserved this job. That made me kind of proud because I have put a lot of work into a teaching career and so far, it hasn't been exactly extraordinary. I am ready for the real deal.
I guess I will know if I get my shot tomorrow.