Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Signs of Exceptional Parenting

By "exceptional" I mean "piss poor". The kid that I am now charged with helping has a dipstick for a mom, I have already mentioned this. However, each time I interact with her, I am awed by her complete lack of parental ability. Here are some examples of how not to raise your kids.

1) Please teach your three year old daughter that, "Hey, bitch!" is not an appropriate greeting when interacting with practical strangers.

2) Multiply the above statement by three when those practical strangers work for an entity that is employed by Medicaid to ensure your children are doing well.

3) Let your children know that scaling counter tops and shelving like they were practicing for a run up Mt. Everest is ill-advised during visits with people that actually care what they do at home and in their daily lives and whose assessments can affect the future of those kids to an extent.

4) When talking to the guy that is in charge of ensuring your kid's behavioral well-being, don't use the F-word more than two times in the same sentence.

5) Again, let your three year old daughter know that hitting visitors and calling them "bitch" is indeed a bad idea.

6) Please refrain from telling visitors that your six year old step-daughter needs mental help...when the child is three feet away and listening to the conversation.

7) New flash: No matter what you think, pot is indeed a drug and it IS illegal. Not my call, that is just the way it is.

8) When you and your boyfriend go out, leaving your ten year old son that has behavioral issues to care for his two younger sisters is NOT a good idea.

9) Do you really think that telling a kid with anger issues that he gets to determine the severity of his siblings punishment when you aren't around is a good idea? Really?

10) When you tell your son not to do something and you do that very thing seconds later, are you setting a good example? No, your pissing him off.

Ok, you get the point, I will stop there. So far, this job is making me want to have kids just so I can set an example for people on how to be at least a decent parent. As it stands right now, if I had the power to take these kids out of the household I would be seriously weighing the consequences of doing so.


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