Sunday, November 11, 2007


Since Toby (the new guy) has arrived in my town, my life has been changing and it is very strange.

For the past two years, I have basically been left to my own devices as far as my day to day life is concerned. I have Japanese lessons on Monday, teach class Tuesday through Saturday, and relax on Sundays. I go to look at manga and nerdy things usually once a week and if it is nice day, I will go take pictures around town or in Kyoto or Osaka. No one bothers me, I have no unscheduled visitors, I do what I want to do when I want to do it. And while it may bother me at times, I am usually quite comfortable with living in my own little world, alone. At least this is how everything was until Toby moved in.

With the arrival of the new guy, my life is now prone to random calls at strange times in the morning or at night, sporadic knocking at my door, and someone wanting to talk or watch a movie whenever the moment strikes them. It is like people are being reintroduced into my day to day life and while I like it, for the lack of better phrasing, it makes me very tired. It has been nice to have someone to talk to but at the same time, I miss having the consistency of my pattern.

I have found that it takes effort for me to want to talk to him and hang out with him and it isn't because he is a bad guy, it is because I am just not used to being sociable. When he comes over and hangs out, I find myself wishing he would leave and when he does leave, I feel drained from the whole experience. Since he has come, I feel very strange because I have always been a rather extroverted person but now that I have someone to talk to, I just want to be alone. I find myself even liking going to class because I know he won't interfere with my rhythm while I am in another town.

When my friends and family have come to visit me, I have never had this feeling and I think it is because I was so happy to see them. I view Toby as a regular guy and so he is just another factor that has been added into the ecosystem of me. I enjoy hanging out with him and I am glad he is here because I have a feeling that having him here will kind of ease me out of my isolation and prepare me for going back to and living in the real world again. I just wish it wasn't such a tiring and draining process.

I view the new guy as kind of my test pet to see if I can handle dealing with a dog or a kitten on a daily basis. He is kind of my social hamster or gold fish.


At 6:31 PM, Blogger Phyrry said...

Exercise always takes effort when building new muscles, be they social or physical or mental.

Good luck on building up those social muscles again, Mr. Extrovert! XD

At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Phear said...

Perhaps you have become absorbed into the collective for too long. I had this kind of feeling about many of the people around me while I was visiting you. It felt like they were all in their own little world and did not want to be disturbed or interrupted. That is why politeness is a cultural key.

Interruption can cause malfunction but resistance is futile.

At 8:39 AM, Blogger Mogwai said...

Hehe...maybe I have been here a tad too long. :)

At 6:03 PM, Blogger Phyrrylyrynyrth said...

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