Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Time In Overdrive

It really just hit me that Christmas is in a month and a half, that I have been in Japan for almost a year, that if I were celebrating Thanksgiving, it would be in a couple of weeks, and my brother turns 21 this weekend. Time is zooming by.

Not celebrating Thanksgiving makes Christmas seem really close. Usually, you have that buffer zone between Thanksgiving and Christmas to really soak up that holiday cheer and or homocidal thoughts as your stuck in a mall parking lot for two hours because 10,000 other people decided to go to the mall the same time as you and leave exactly when you wanted to as well. Wow, that was a good example of a run-on sentence kids. But its true, the holiday season has its own niche in time and not celebrating Thanksgiving messes up that space time continuum for me. I think I am going to decorate or do something holiday-ish on Thanksgiving just so it feels like I am starting the holiday season.

As for my brother turning 21, that seems odd too. On one hand, it doesn't seem like he's hung around for the past 21 years. On the other, he has his act together a lot more than I did when I was 21. My brother doesn't talk as much as me and that has always made him seem more mature in my eyes; or maybe its just that I talk all the time and when I can't talk to someone, I type on here. So basically, I never shut up. Maybe my brother and time are just normal and I am the one in overdrive. There might be something to that thought.

The fact that I turn 27 in a couple of months kind of freaks me out. I feel like I am workng against a clock and I feel that way with everything lately. I do things here and I think to myself that I will only have one more summer in Japan or one more year to visit Tokyo again. One year to go to Hiroshima, Nara, and climb Mt. Fuji. One more year until I have to make the decision as to whether or not I am coming back and if I am not staying here, where I am going to go. It doesn't seem like a lot of time and it seems like I have a lot to get done. I remember a time a few years ago (it doesn't seem that long ago) when it felt like I had all of the time in the world. Now it just seems like all I have is the rest of my life.

One of my goals for 2007 is going to be to learn how to make my mind relax. I am thinking all the time, even when I shouldn't be. I need to find the off switch for my brain, or at the very least, a slow down knob. When I sleep, I dream, and when I dream, I am working on something. I want those happy flying or falling dreams to come back or some really good nightmares that will entertain me while my body is recharging.

Anywho, I am going to either go read or practice my kanji flashcards now and then try to sleep. Any suggestions for relaxation that do not involve drugs, let me know.


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