Thursday, October 19, 2006

Dear Jerk Off,

If you wanted to piss me off, you have done it, congratulations!

A few days ago, you tried to steal my bike but damn, my chain stopped you. So you vented a bit by twisting my handlebar and messing up my breaks. Thanks.

Tonight, you tried yet again to steal my bike but that friggin' chain stopped you again so you stole my bike seat instead and then loosened my handlebars and twisted them again. Thanks again.

You have now unleashed wrathful and angry Mogwai. If your bike is the one that has coincidentally been next to my bike both nights you have messed with it, you will now find both of your tires have been flattened and I may have accidentally busted the air valve on the rear one, my bad, you pissed me off. I did find it funny that you took the trouble to lock your seat to your bike's frame when there is no other bicycle in the lot that does that. Don't try to single yourself out or anything, that wouldn't make this little game any fun. I am rather angry that you forced me to steal someone else's bike seat so that I could still use mine. I did not want to do this but you left me no choice because I am sure that had I left it there, something else would have happened to it. You have now set into motion a chain reaction of bike seat thefts, way to go.

Let it be known that if you left the little piece of plastic bag that I tied to the underside of the seat intact and I am able to identify my seat(Oh yes, I will look though all of the bikes for it) I will take actions against that bike that will make it pretty much useless to it's rider. You have been warned.

Sincerely,

Mogwai

PS: If you are the owner of the bike whose tires I flattened and you did not mess with my bike but have placed yours next to mine both times by sheer coincidence, I am sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused you.

6 Comments:

At 8:30 AM, Blogger Karie and Reid said...

Dear T.

Sorry.

Our 3rd bike has been at Takaoka Stn. since my mother's visit in early August. In that time we have lost the key to the lock, attempted to cram into Mitsubishi Toppo (alas, to no avail - infront of koban no less), lost and found said key an additional 2 times. last week I again found the 3rd bike intact and rideable.

Man, you have shit luck with bikes! But we have an extra next time you need one!

 
At 9:17 AM, Blogger Mogwai said...

Thanks for the offer but until this one gets stolen, I will ride it. I am almost tempted to leave it at the station on a Monday and sit at the McDonalds across the street and see who is so interested in it. Whether they knew it or not, they picked on a bike with an owner who possesses an abundance of free time.

 
At 12:15 PM, Anonymous tony's mom said...

Oh I'm so sorry that someone was an asshole, but, your thoughts and actions are so funny! I think your wonderful! Ha Ha ha I can't stop laughing! Get 'em Mogs!

 
At 11:13 PM, Blogger Heather said...

Why would someone try to steal a bike if they already had one?

What if, by paying the deed forward, MORE bike violence is created instead of curbed? (No pun intended)

Sorry about your bike, though, that really does suck. In all of Japan, hasn't someone created a bike-theft-alarm by now?

 
At 5:57 PM, Anonymous Phyrry said...

Can you not take it into your apartment? I know the room is small, but Driscoll rooms weren't too big either, and the dormites I knew with bike theft / damage trouble always brought their bikes into their room with them (stairs and all).

If you weren't having so much trouble, it would be too much effort, but since you *are* having problems...

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger Mogwai said...

I don't have problems at my apartment, its at the train station when stuff gets tinkered with. I have no options where I put my bike there.

And Heather you are right, I was just really pissed off. Next to baseball, bike theft is the most popular pastime so I doubt I would make the problem increase. I did feel bad about having to take a bike seat but I really didn't have options.

 

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