The Konshia

Okay, this is another instance when I am not totally sure I spelled it right but it is probably close. The Konshia is a crazy phenomonon that I have seen a few times since I have been here. Basically, the konshia is when one person intertwines his hands as if he were making an imaginary gun out of them. You know, like when you used to play cops and robbers or something. The person will then with his two outstretched index fingers, thrust them into the butt of some other boy that is bending over or has his rear under facing them. Think of getting a finger enema and you have the konshia. I have also seen boys do frontal konshias to other people. What is funny about the whole thing is the amount of time the kids will spend preparing to do it to the other kid. There is a whole ritual involved in giving the konshia, it is kind of like they are trying to give their victim time to get out of the position that would allow them to receive the konshia and if they don`t, they get two quick fingers up their butt.

In the United States, we have the wedgy. The konshia is kind of along those same lines here in Japan. Usually, only boys will do it to each other and it is treated by the boys as a harmless joke. I have even heard of people seeing drunk middle-aged business men doing it to each other on the trains when one person would go for their briefcase in the overhead compartment. They will do it really hard too, I can`t see how it would not hurt in some cases and if an adult ever does it to me, they will be lucky if they do not get smacked.

The boys here love smacking each other in the crotch too. I have had little kids spend a good portion of my class trying to either kick, headbutt, or punch me in the crotch on a couple different occassions. The other day, I was teaching and the parents were in the class observing my lesson when one little kid tried landing a pretty hard kick to my nuts. Fortunately, he misses and hit my thigh instead. His dad saw this and went absolutely nuts on him. I have never seen a Japanese parent go off on their kids like this guy did, it was awesome. Japanese parents are not known for their elite parenting abilities but this guy represented and it was cool. The kid was really good for the rest of the class as well.

If you plan on teaching in Japan, my advice is this. If you know you have a rowdy kid in your class, never turn you back on them, putting your rear end in their direction. And always be weary of your crotch and be ready to block playful punches or kicks to it. The kids are not doing it to hurt you, they are playing, though it is a really weird way of playing.