Thursday, January 05, 2006

The Adventures of Bubble Man

In my further exploration of Nagoya, I came upon one of their ten gazillion vending machines that had a beverage of which I have never seen the likes of, a beverage so good it transcends the boundaries between human and cola, and that beverage is...BUBBLE MAN!



Bubble Man has travelled from the far away galaxy of Grape to give me an intense flavor sensation that I have never experienced before. How has Bubble Man survived such great peril to deliver this unique blend of grape and grape flavoring you may ask, with the help of his trusty Bubble Suit, thats how.



If you are not familiar with such technological advances as the famed Bubble Suit, the picture above tells you all you need to know. The suit consists of three parts.

First, you have the Bubble Flash. Basically, the Bubble Flash was designed to emit a rapid light pulse so bright that it could send Bubble Man's would-be attackers into a massive seizure that would leave them spasming on the ground. Many a year was spent testing this light pulse on Japanese children. In fact, Pikachu, of Pokemon fame used the prototype Bubble Flash and caused dozens of children to fall prey to its mighty pulsating blasts.

The second part of the Bubble Suit is the Bubble Met. The designers of the Bubble Met used old Bubble MIVs as the base of the design and greatly improved upon their performance by cutting a rectangular hole in the center of the MIV to allow the wearer the mighty ability of vision. With this newfound navigational technology, Bubble Man no longer had to rely on his keen sense of smell to evade his foes. The previous Bubble Man met his match when he dueled the nefarious, Shower. The Shower had no real powers other than his ability to cover his scent but that was enough to defeat the first Bubble Man in a battle that spanned two continents, destroyed Tokyo three times, and created a crater a mile wide. Thanks to the Bubble Met, this new Bubble Man fears no man...unless that man is invisible.

Lastly, is the bulk of the Bubble Suit. Its outer shell is made from advanced polymers and microfibers. All of this is brought to you and powered by the letter "B" emblazoned on the front of the armor. At first, the letter "Q" was used to power the suit but they found that "B" was much more powerful and there was the undeniable synergy that was created by using a letter that happened to be the first letter in Bubble Man's real name, Bob.

Anywho, that pretty much sums up Bubble Man. For a more in depth look into the phenomon known as Bubble Man and his powerful Bubble Suit, read the rest of the back of the can. Or you can do what I did and just make the whole thing up.

1 Comments:

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous phear said...

What is an MIV and what the heck is a Met?...bbbbaa..I think I know what it does, but what is it?

 

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