Sensing The Changing
I think it is starting to sink in just how much my life is going to be changing in the next few months. I am making arrangements for people to buy up my stuff as if my worldly possessions were marbles in a Hungry Hungry Hippo game and my friends and family were those little plastic hippos. In a sense, I feel like I am about ready to die or something...and in a way I am dying. The old me as I know him is disappearing more and more each day and I can't say that I horribly miss him.
I am cleaning my room right now and I think that is what brought this feeling on. I kind of like it but at the same time, it kind of creeps me out. All of my various wires and computer bits are being set aside for a day in the near future when I will let Demonator, Phyrry, and whoever else wants stuff ravage the stack and take what they want. The rest will be thrown away. My books are the things that I am most concerned about. I am making arrangements with my parents to let me add a bookself to their guest bedroom. I do not want my first editions and old books going into an attic. They need to be kept at room temperature in a nice temperate place. For those that are looking to getting into collecting books and are trying to find a place to put them all keep this one rule in mind: Books like to live where people live. They do not like damp place or extremely dry places. They are not fond of extreme heat or cold. They are very much like people in that sense. I am most worried for my first edition, first printing of "Old Man and The Sea" by Ernest Hemingway. The book is in pretty good shape for its age and what it has been through (I found it at the dump) and I am very fond of it. The dust jacket has minimal wear and there is no damage to its pages. It is probably worth about $1,500 but that is not why I keep it around. I keep it because I rescued it and if it were not for me, the book would have been buried and that isn't right. It will be okay, I will make sure of it.
My computer and all of its peripherals are going to Demonator. He will make good use of it all and there is no way I can take it with me. I don't know what will happen to my bed but hey, I won't need it either. I just wish I could take its comfiness with me.
All in all, I am pretty glad that most of this stuff that I am surrounded by will go away soon. I don't need it anymore. The only thing I worry about is what I am going to do when I come back to where ever I will be coming back to when I am done in Japan. I am going to have to buy a ton of stuff in order to make an operational home once again. I figure I will worry about that when the time comes. Part of me wants my life to stay the way I am going to make it, all I care about is either with my family or in a series of suitcases and backpacks. Mobile...ready to roam...never static. I don't want my life to be static anymore. Part of me also wants to find a place to live for a while, find someone to be happy with, make a family, and a career for myself. I am kind of sick of moving and packing and unpacking. Oh well, the next place I will live will hold me for at least a year, if not longer. It makes me chuckle to think that in the past year and a half I will have moved four times and the one place that I will be for longer than any of them will finally end up being somewhere in Japan. Odd how stuff works out sometimes.
Stuff is definitely changing and I think for the better. Mushi once said to me while we were in the process of seperating and divorcing that the one thing that was certain was when her and I decided to make changes in our lives we did so drastically. Everything as of late would be another good example of that.