I Shouldn't Be Here

If this were a Memorial Day of years past, I would be a Mushi's parents' house having a barbeque. But this is not like previous years and I am not celebrating a day of relaxation with Mushi's family. Truth be told, it is weird. I did not think a B-List holiday like Memorial Day would affect me so much.

I have gone through the entire day feeling like I should be somewhere else with other people. I am bothered by this, what I am I going to be like at Christmas or Thanksgiving? I do not want to be all weird during those holidays but if I am in an odd mood just because I am missing a BBQ I usually go to, what will I be like on Christmas Eve or the latter part of Thanksgiving. I hope I will not freak out on those days but I just don't know. I guess we will just have to wait and see.