Friday, February 25, 2005

Customers Are Idiots

So I am at work tonight when I get called over to the return desk to make sure a couple of electronics devices have everything they came with before they can be taken back. I was amazed when I got there.

This guy who is probably in his forties with a kid that was maybe ten or twelve years old was trying to return two things. The first thing was the original Microsoft Sidewinder joystick. I am not talking about the force feedback one, oh no, this was the original one from like 1995. The kicker is that this jerk had kept the receipt for the entire ten years he had the joystick. Freak! So I look at it and know that there is no way I am going to let the guy return stuff that he purchased before I could legally drive a car. And then I see my loophole in our return policy, the item must have everything it came with, a complete sell unit. So I ask the guy, "Where are the drivers and the manual for this?" He replies, "Oh, well I have the drivers at home and I am sure the manual is there too." The drivers and the manual do me no good when they are not in front of me so I tell him I have to have both items before I can return the joystick. If anything, I was at least going to make the guy waste his time if he is going to bring back a worthless joystick to get the sixty bucks it was worth when he bought it. Just out of curiousity, I asked him what was wrong with it and he said that the joystick worked fine but did not work with anything above Windows 98. No shit. So I looked at him for a second and then I told him, "Sir, the joystick IS ten years old." "Oh, I know but I thought that Microsoft would have a software update for it on their website but it doesn't even look like they make joysticks anymore." I told him they stopped about five years ago and then restated the fact that his joystick was ten years old, trying to make him catch on to the fact that I thought he was a cheap worthless bastard and that I pitied his child who had to grow up with a father that was as devoid of cooth as he was. He did not get it.

The next thing he pulled out of his box was a pair of Motorola walkie-talkies. Antique Motorola walkie-talkies that were about eight years old. He didn't even have the receipt for these. Retard. So I pretended to look for the product in our computer database for a couple of seconds and then told him that without something to prove that he actually bought those at our store I could not approve of a return on them either. I think this kind of annoyed him and was a tad proud of myself for this. I had single-handedly shut down a guy who thought he could clean out his garage and bring me all of the crap that he found that even the Salvation Army would have laughed at him for donating. Only with me it was worse because he thought he was going to get money out of me. Punk.

After he stomped off, the two girls that were doing returns congratulated me for shafting him. Nobody likes people who are too cheap to suck it up and by a new product after their ten year old one become antiquated. I am hoping he comes back tomorrow with the joystick and all of its components so I can find something else to throw at him. Customers make my job so entertaining but so annoying at the same time. They are like herpes, they bother the crap out of you when they are around but you feel so relieved when they finally go away. Freaking customers.


At 2:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel bad for you. Is the company you work for your Mom's or Dad's if not why are you working so hard to screw the consumer and protect the company's interests. I'm sure they don't care as much about your benefits.

At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who cares exactly if they are moms or pops? Who cares if they dont give a shit about your benefits? So now let every idiot that comes into any store get their ridiculous way? Fuck idiots. Good job. Work good with good customers do not break down for shit ones.


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