Sunday, January 23, 2005


Over the past couple of weeks, I have been doing a lot of thinking about a multitude of topics. One that keeps popping up even if I try to avoid it, is the thought of someday being a parent. Thats right, little munchkins that look like some strange mutation of Mushi and I shrunk down and toddling about my house. At first, it is a rattling thought that verges on the edge of horrifying but the more I think about it, the more I think I want kids someday.

I think back to this last Christmas and honestly, it wasn't very thrilling. That is not anyone's fault but I thought to myself and mentioned it to Mushi, that Christmas would be a lot more fun if we had kids. I remember getting so excited for Christmas when I was little. I used to get so wound up that I would actually go into a coughing fit so bad I would puke. To this day, when I get anxious, nervous, excited, or whatever, I cough like I was a chain smoking fifty year old. Nervous habit I think. Anywho, back to the kids. I think it would be fun to be able to make Christmas magical for a kid. To get them so excited they can't sleep but not so excited that they puke, to me, would be very fufilling come Christmas morning.

Yesterday, I was wandering past a table of clothes at work and noticed a freaking cool bath robe that had pirate stuff all over it like treasure chests, boats, and whatnot. I thought to myself, "This robe will be mine someday." Then I found out that they only came in kids' sizes so then I thought, "This robe will be on my kid someday." Moderately satisfied by this answer I went about the tasks of my meaninless job but I still wonder whether or not I should buy that robe and hold on to it. I think this would be kind of weird seeing that Mushi and I are still a few years from the "having kids" part of life but hey, my mom has already started buying stuff for grandkids she doesn't have yet. Then again, my mom is odd sometimes.

I guess I have made a 90 degree turn in my thinking about kids. If you would have asked me a couple months ago if I wanted kids, I would have said if they happen cool if not, cool. But now I definitely think I want kids, two, I think would do. I don't like the idea of raising an only child. The single positive example of only children that I can think of is my buddy, Ben. Every other only child I have known was warped.

Now don't go thinking that Mushi and I are going to have kids anytime in the ultra near future but in the next couple of years....I think that is a definite possiblility. Before we have kids there are some goals that I would like to achieve. The first one, we must have a savings account set aside and being added to on a regular interval for that child's college fund. I am not going to bring a life into this world and not have the money to educate them properly. The savings account is a must. Secondly, I want both Mushi and I to start our careers. That will be easier for one of us more so than the other. Mushi is well on her way to achieving that goal but I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I think that is the next big thought I will ponder. I need to figure this stuff out now. The next chapter of my life is when I step into a more permanent career track. I am not even in the stadium right now, let alone the bleachers that overlook that track.

The third and final goal before the kids come, is that I want Mushi and I to be happy in our marriage and with ourselves before we create mini-Mushi and Mogwais. I would like us to both travel a bit and to get moved into a bigger place before we have kids. I also want to make sure we are both comfortable in our relationship with each other before we start relationships and responsibilities with another being that the two of us have brought into the world. Mushi and I haven't even been married a year yet and we still have some stuff to iron out that can only be done with time and patience. Anyone that says marriage is an easy thing is high. Marriage is hard but it is the good kind of hard that pays dividends over time. I love being married to Mushi and would not have it any other way, but we are just getting started on this grand journey and we need to work out the details of where that journey is going to take us. This will only come with time and effort. After a bit more time, I will be ready for kids. But until then, I still have the other goals to work toward. I feel older and somewhat more enlightened. Sorry if that got long-winded and wordy, I do that from time to time but writing is the only way I can get stuff out clearly and to my own satisfaction. Now it is time to vacuum and then go to sleep. :)


Post a Comment

<< Home