Sunday, December 19, 2004

What Evil Lurks In The Hearts Of Men?

People have always thought I had a criminal streak in me. I do, I won't lie; there are days when I see something at work and think to myself, "It would be so easy to rip that off." I never follow through with those thoughts of course, but nonetheless, they are there. I don't like stealing, I am not overly fond of thieves either but, I think I would probably make a pretty good one. I have a knack for talking to people and getting them to do what I want them to...I am a salesman after all...but I could also make a decent con-man too. So this is my idea.

Everyone lately is on a reality tv show bandwagon so I am going to toss in my reality tv fantasy. Imagine a show in which the contestants would go into stores and steal things. Whoever was able to steal the largest dollar amount worth of goods would win that amount of money. If you wanted to really make it a reality show, you could toss about eight people into a house, and tell them that it was their job to steal as much as possible without getting caught, physically hurting someone, threatening to hurt someone, or stealing from a person over the age of 65 and under the age of 10. Thats right, no bank least not holdups and no ripping off people that can't defend themselves. So each week on the show there would be a new challenge. One week, you might have to con someone into giving you money or goods. The next week, it is steal from the convenience store day. Every month, the person with the lowest dollar amounts would go home the loser. The thing that would be fun, is to give the person with the lowest amount a lifeline to see if they can steal from another person in the group. If they can, the victim would go home a loser and the person that had the lowest dollar amount would inherit the money amassed by the person they stole from. All in all, I think this show would rock. I know that I would watch it.

Each contestant must fit a criteria however. First, the person cannot have a prior record that includes violent crime or theft of any kind. We want normal people for the show, not trained criminals. Second, after the show, the people in it cannot be arrested for committing or attempting to commit a crime. If they do so, all winnings from the show will be stripped from them. All contestants must be at least 21 years old...except for the Teen Theif mini competition. Think college week on Wheel of Fortune but with a five finger discount.

Now, I know there are those of you out there saying that this show would portray a bad lifestyle that people should not look up to or try to imitate and I could not agree with you more. But on the same token, what kind of example does The Real World set for teens? A bunch of twenty-somethings screwing and drinking to their hearts content. At least my program comes out and admits that what it is showing is not a good thing to do. And to those that are worried about the losses to the businesses the contestants rip off, all items stolen would be paid for by the show. That is why there would be commercials, you have to pay for that stuff somehow. And what would the show be called, "To Catch A Thief". If there are any networks interested in this idea, feel free to contact me. I would give you a steal of a deal. :)

I for one would be a most willing contestant for the show. I think there are a lot of people out there that like me, feel that they would make a good criminal but have those damned things called morals keeping them from crossing that line. I think there is a little evil in everyone and that it is healthy to positively confront that vice. I think this would be a good venue to do that in. But hey, thats just my opinion.


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