Thursday, July 15, 2004

Julius Day Commences!

Like almost every red blooded American, I crave fast food from time to time. But I have a problem. No, it is not the high fat food, not the grease or cholesterol, nor the burgers that are sometimes rubbery or the buns that are sometimes soggy; my problem lies with the fast food chain employee. The sixteen year old kid that works a crap job to pay for his 1981 Honda box car is the bane of my fast food experience. I want to reach out and strangle the life out of every single one of them....with the exception of one. More on him later.

I have no problem with the kids personally, just the fast food chains that hire them. When I pull into a McDonald's drive-thru to order something that is taking seconds, if not minutes, off of my life, I expect a couple of things. They are as follows:

1. I expect to be greeted in a nice but not too peppy voice. If they sound bored, while I can't blame them, they aggravate me. If they sound too peppy, I know one of three things.
A) They are on drugs. B) They need to be on better drugs. C)Or the poor sap just doesn't know better. An overly peppy McDonald's employee annoys me more than a bored one. At least with the bored ones you know they are real people with a sense of what is currently wrong with their life.

2. When ordering, I despise being interrupted or cut off. This is the #1 peeve. If you do this I will get pissed at you, my voice will raise, and I will become an asshole customer. I DO NOT LIKE BEING CUT OFF EVER! For example, when I go to McDonald's I have a certain way I order things. My usual McMeal is a #4 Value Meal which includes a double quarter-pounder, a fry, and a soft drink of my choice, Coke. When I order, the usual scenario goes like this,
"Hi, welcome to McDonald's. Order when you are ready."

"Yeah, can I please get a Large #4 with a Coke and on the burger, just cheese and ketchup only please."

"Ok....what would you like to drink?"

"A Coke."

"And did you want to Super Size that for just a bit more?"

"Yeah, I'll have a large."

McDonald's trains their employees to ask certain questions and enter the response. This is irritating because if the damned person would just listen to me, I have compiled my order in a very efficient, easy to understand way that would answer all of their questions in one fell swoop. But they don't. And I grow impatient with each worker that does not listen to me or interrupts my order to ask me these questions. The latter of course, being the action that as I have said, irritates me to the utmost. But tonight was different.

As my wife and I pulled up to the ordering area, we were greeted by a male voice, not too bored, not too peppy, just right. And then when I made my order, an angelic silence fell over the microphone and speaker. I was not being interrupted or questioned, just listened to. Beautiful, glorious, listening. When my requests had been made he did not question me further. He listened and by listening, he was able to complete the transaction. He was polite and quick. His name was Julius. He is easily the best McDonald's employee I have ever had the pleasure of ordering food from and should be worshipped as an icon by other teenagers in the food service industry, if not by all mankind. Julius, today is your day, I salute you.

BTW the food was good and the order was not screwed up in anyway. Julius was looking out for me. Thank you, drive through.


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