Monday, May 26, 2008

Everything Tempory, Nothing Lasts

Lately I think I have been in a funk.

The past few weeks have flown by and I am not sure why I feel like I do. I have spent this weekend moving and the place I am moving to rocks and will be a lot of fun. But I know that it isn't a permanent thing and that in six months or so, I will be looking for another place. I really want a house of my own but this will do for now and it will definitely be more relaxing than living with my parents.

My jobs(pick one)are going nowhere. I don't feel like a ton of the work I do is very helpful to anyone and I have a sneaking suspicion that my good job exists just so the state has someplace to throw money at to make it look like they care about people with disabilities. Don't get me wrong, I think I do some good at my job and possibly, more than I realize, but I just don't feel like much of anything ever gets accomplished with any of the people I deal with and hear about. One exception to this is one of my clients. He is doing so well since I started with him that he will no longer need services in a month or two. This is great for him but it means I get a pay cut because I am down one client when he is taken out of the program.

A while ago I was hopeful about getting an emergency special ed teaching job but now that is looking less likely. The Boise school district called me and told me that they weren't even going to screen me because I am not close to getting my Special Ed certification. I was told that they would have to be extremely desperate in order to hire me. I understand their position but that didn't feel too great to hear. I still have some hope for Meridian and I need to get my app into Kuna this next week. I hope that something comes through on that end because I need a new job that has some kind of a future.

It also feels like everyone around me minus a couple of people has become totally unreliable. Unreliable isn't the right word, maybe distant. Maybe that is just me projecting that feeling because I feel a billion miles away a lot of the time. I am just having a hard time feeling like I am fitting in anywhere lately. It isn't anything that people have or haven't done, I just don't feel like almost anything is right at the moment and I don't know why. I feel very alone in a sea of people and places I am extremely familiar with. I go places and I do things but I don't feel like I am connected to any of it.

I am moving to Ben's parent's house. Tonight will be my first night there. The house is at the top of a hill that overlooks everything. Perhaps I am not seeing the forest for the trees and by moving up there, I will be able to get a clearer view of what is going on with me. Why is it that when I am out of my element I excel but when I am in places I should be comfortable I feel so trapped and transient at the same time?

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Dreams of Pixel Pub

For almost six hours now, I have sat in my video game store and have done absolutely nothing. I think a dozen people have been in here all day and not all of them bought stuff. This is boredom at its finest.

My thing is, why are the owners of this place letting this stand? Why would you own a business that you are losing money hand over fist on? I have seen some evidence to show that this store is probably not going to be around forever and I can't really blame them. The part that sucks is that if the video game store closes some people are going to be out of a job that could use the money. I am not one of those people, but some people will get the shaft.

I kind of want to open up and run a game store just to show these people how a real game store should be run. The major difference between my game store and theirs is that mine would have a full bar. I would call it Pixel Pub and also have a small vintage arcade on the side of it as well. My boss here used to be a bar tender and so did his brother, Teddy and two other people that work here could run the game store , and I could float between the two. No, I haven't thought about this much. The only real downside is that Idaho has a bunch of pain in the ass liquor laws that would make the bar a chore to open. But it would be fun and I would bet we could get some decent business. The geek culture of Boise is lacking in a good adult oriented hangout and I could provide that niche.

Now, I just need a bunch of startup money and a liquor license.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Appointments and Schedules

Staying on par with the past few months' course, I have enrolled in Summer school which means more weeks without any free time. I am excited to go back to school but not horribly thrilled with the price of it or the amount of time I will end up sinking into it. I am taking two Summer classes, one is on the fundamentals of teaching special education and the other is on teaching severely handicapped students. Both should be interesting and both should be easy, I just wish that I got paid to take the classes.

In other news, I have my screening interview with the Boise school district in the second week of June. This isn't anything special, it is just me getting asked a bunch of questions by the head of the History department (a guy I have known for a while) and being okay'd to be put into the pool of potential teachers. There is one history position open at a junior high but I am not sure if I will be added to the pool soon enough to qualify for it. We will see. That would be an interesting wrench in my plans if I were to sign up for all of this Special Ed stuff and then get a history job. I wouldn't complain though.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I went to work and found out that I had meant more of my hourly goals with clients than any other person and I got a prize. It wasn't much of a prize but I was happy that I was on top. To add to the fun of the day, I kind of sort of bought a 46" Sharp Aquos LCD television too. I had no intent to buy a tv yesterday but I know I will need one soon and this was a stupidly good deal so I had to take it. Grand Theft Auto 4 on a big tv is fun.

Lately, I have felt like such a robot. I don't do much other than work and it is starting to wear me out. There is no variation in my life and I still have not had a day off. I need to get a teaching job soon so I can feel like I am not working my ass off just to tread water. There is something to be said for treading water though because I am finally getting some savings built up. It isn't much but it is better than nothing. I feel like I have breathing room again.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

A Slew Of Job Related Stuff and Everything Else

Ok, I haven't posted in about ten days and that is my bad. But in my defense, I have been super busy.

I went and talked to the guy at BSU and he got me all straightened out. I had to re-apply as a student and got accepted the other day. Now I have to register for two Summer school classes and take them. In the Fall I will be taking three classes, same with the Spring semester. After that, I have two classes left to take and those will hopefully happen in the Summer of 2009 but possibly the Fall of 2009. After that and a couple of tests, I will be certified to teach Special Ed.

I have also been busy filling out applications for all of the school districts in the area. I turned Meridian's in the other day and Boise's is finished, I just need to submit it. After that, I will submit Kuna's back to them as well. The hope is that one of the districts will not be able to find all of the special ed teachers it needs in time for the next school year. That means they would go into emergency mode and I would then be qualified to be hired on as a special teacher and do the job while I go to school. Everyone seems to think I will have a job come August but I am not that hopeful. It would be nice though.

As for my current job, it is going well. Not too much to report on that front. My video game store job is also going well, though there is always more drama going on there than at my other jobs. The problem I have with my jobs is that they eat up all of my time. I haven't had a day off work in about a month and a half. Part of me says that sucks but the other part of me doesn't know what I would do if I had a day or two off anyway so I may as well keep working and getting money. My money situation is pretty much squared away. I have enough coming in now that I can pay all of my bills, play a little, and save a bit. This is good.

In other news, I found out last week that I will be an uncle before the year is out. That will be funny. I am not sure why but this makes me feel younger for some reason. Lately, I have been feeling younger and that may be because of going back to college and just staying as busy as I have been.

Oh oh, at the end of the month, I will be moving into Ben's parents' place for the Summer. That will also be fun. Sorry, I am out of adjectives at the moment and just want to get all of this stuff out. I need to post on here more frequently so when I do post I don't just verbally vomit all over the place. Anywho, I need to go to work now but will post more later.